There are many tools from our S&M world that we can take back into our Vanilla life. Safe words come to mind first. My girlfriend is new to the S&M lifestyle so she has been educated in the use of safe words for sex and BDSM scenes. I was taking her home to my mother’s house for her first ever family holiday gathering. My girlfriend is an introvert and deals with some anxiety issues. She was asking what she should do if she becomes uncomfortable for any reason. I offered that we should have a secret signal, better yet a safe word only known to her and me. If she used yellow in a sentence it would be a request for me to get her out of the conversation of the room. If she used red in a sentence I would extract her from the room and look for a way for her to be alone even if it meant she left for a while.
We had a great holiday and she did not need to use her safe words at Thanksgiving nor Christmas but is healthy for us to have the options.
Safe words are boundaries and it is healthy to put boundaries in place in any aspect of your life not just S&M